They're back!!

Well, the boys are back, and no one is more shocked or surprised than we are. I don't have long to post, so I won't be able to give you much of a window into my emotion right now, but I'll do my best in a few words. To say I cried when I found out would be the understatement of the century. I almost had a full-blown panic attack. We're talking uncontrollable sobbing, indecipherable speech, and near hyperventilating...haha! In one huge rush, everything came flooding into my brain... Our house was a wreck with several home projects still in the works. Ricky's back is still very touch and go I had to plan and teach a class this morning with the boys in child care again...yikes! The crib needed to move There was an extra mattress sitting in K-man's room. We had no food. My parents are coming to visit this weekend. Add that and more on top of my broken heart upon hearing this emotionally charged news - not knowing what had reslly happened to my precious boys, and I found myself wanting to close this door, forget it ever happened, and just proceed with the somewhat self-centered life I had been able to lead for the past 2 months. That being said, however, I knew the second I got the call that we had to take them back. To say that God has sustained us would also be a huge understatement. I woke up early this morning and practically ripped open the pages of my Bible. Not really knowing where to begin, I started with the first chapter of the book of James, because i'm in a Bible study on James all summer. I read James 1:1-18 and was, once again, speechless at the love of my savior, Jesus Christ. I am so tempted to think that i have somehow reached my quota of trials and paid my dues, but James tells me that I need to let steadfastness have it's full effect, and so I press on...in His strength. By the end of tonight, after the boys came to us late last night, it almost feels like they never left. Praise the Lord who is a Father to the fatherless and let's us join in this wild ride with Him.

Oops!

I forgot to keep you posted! Haha...oops! Little Guy, while he was adorable and a lot of fun, was not a member of our little family for very long. He left for court at 7:30am on Thursday, May 31, and at noon, I had heard nothing. I tried to call the case manager. My agency was trying to call as well. Finally, at 5:30pm(!!!!!!) the case manager answered my agency's phone call and said, "Ohhh...I was just about to call you..." (likely story...) Little Guy had gone home that morning. We're at the point where we just have to laugh. Were it not for us hounding them with phone calls, they may have never thought it necessary to call us or our agency to tell us he would not be coming home to us. Crazy!

So, our house is empty again. Here is a snapshot of what's been going on at our little house since the boys left...

First...we went here (thanks to our amazing agency who surprised us and rewarded us for recruiting a couple of new foster families last year)

Then, my husband's sister got married with a DIY reception, so the next week with my newly freed up calendar, I got to work on this fun project with my amazing in-laws...

Then, I got down to business reorganizing, purging clutter, and taking on some home projects that have been on the to-do list for quite some time. With my new realization that having kids around = no time to do these things, I jumped in with both feet to get as much done as possible! This is our kitchen table and hutch that we're (very slowly) refinishing. Seriously...will this project ever end??

One of my favorite projects has been in response to my sweet, although sometimes precarious, time with K-man in the house. We've chosen several scripture passages to display all over the house using vinyl lettering. Some will be useful teaching tools. Others are intended to be an encouragement to myself and to my husband when the walls start to close in. The Lord has already used this first one many times to encourage and challenge me.

Unfortunately, shortly after I took on all of said home projects, my husband was diagnosed with a herniated disc in his back, so the last few months of his life have looked an awful lot like this...

He started struggling with this about a month before the boys went home, but it really flared up soon after they left, putting him in the bed for several days and forcing him to now spend most, if not all, of his time either standing or lying down. He's been slowly improving until this past weekend, when he wound up right back where he started for no apparent reason. We are thankful to have this window of time when he's able to recuperate without the added stress of kids in the house. I, on the other hand, find it difficult at times to rest in this new season of life. I've spent a good bit of my time babysitting my friends' kids, and this past week, I had a good amount of responsibility for Vacation Bible School at our church to keep me busy. The reality is, though, that I miss being a mom, and I'm anxious to fill those shoes again. I'm thankful that He is sovereign and knows exactly what I need (even when I might be tempted to disagree :).

Oh yeah...and then, of course, we had about 48 sweet hours of this...

Before I close, I want to give you a quick update on K-man and B-boy. We have been overwhelmed by the gift of being able to talk with K-man, B-boy, their 2 older brothers, and their momma once a week since they went home. Their mother sought this out, and we couldn't be more thrilled. Hearing their voices, knowing they're ok, singing songs, hearing them laugh, and hearing them say "I love you," have all been precious gifts that we never expected to have. Unfortunately, we recently heard that things were not well in their family, and just last week the phone number we have used to stay in touch with them was disconnected. Right before the phone was disconnected, I had a neat 20-minute conversation with their momma, and she opened up to me about many of her struggles. My husband and I have looked into a potentially life-changing opportunity for her two older boys, but once we started putting all of those pieces in place, the phone was disconnected. I try calling every day, but I'm not sure if we'll hear from them again or not. For me, it's been a grieving process all over again. I had really gotten used to the idea of hearing those voices and being reassured of their well-being once a week. I had also gotten really excited about the possibilities presented by this amazing opportunity. With this new chapter, I'm having to remind myself of His Sovereignty daily and find rest. Again, I have to make sure I say that every twinge of grief comes coupled with about ten times as much joy, but I'm starting to miss them in a whole new way.

Please pray:

• that my husband's back would heal. Until then, however, pray that He would find contentment and that the Lord would produce spiritual growth during these discouraging days.
• for the safety and well-being of K-man and B-boy's family
• for K-man and B-boy's mom 
• that we would be able to reconnect with K-man & B-boy's family
• for His timing in bringing the next children into our home. We have a few respite weeks/weekends on our calendar, but we're holding off on taking any more placements until my husband's back heals.

"I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 

I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. 

In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing 

plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 

I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

Philippians 4:11-13