How quickly things change!

After a night filled with discussions, phone calls, and prayers both excited about the possibilities and terrified about the worst-case-scenarios, my husband and I decided we had no good reason not to move forward with this placement. I took note this morning as I was preparing to make the phone call to the agency that on our list of pros and cons, all of our cons were really rooted in fear.

We were afraid of our inadequacy, but let's face it...we're going to be inadequate no matter what child comes our way, just leaning on the Lord every second of every day.

I was afraid of what people might say after leaving my job only to stay at home while this sweet boy was in pre-K all day.

We were afraid of our lack of preparation. We have a crib, changing table, and car seat. We don't have anything for a five-year-old (except some great books in my children's book collection).

I was afraid of what an entire summer would look like with no pre-K.

I have been chuckling for a while now about a wall quote I saw recently and considered putting in our future kids' room. It said:

Boy: n. a noise with dirt on it.

So true...what on earth would I do with a five-year-old boy every day...all day? It had to be a boy...

Anyway, all kidding aside, these were thoughts that we discussed all night, but in the end our overwhelming thought was...why not?

We went to bed praying for this sweet boy, for his precious mom, for his current foster family, and for God's protection over us as we muddled through this decision-making process. We prayed diligently that God would place obstacles in our path if we started to go down a path that He did not intend.

Then, this morning, I made the call and started to get excited. Without even realizing it, I started to settle into the idea that this boy was going to come live with us, and I could hardly wait. I started to work up in my mind how great it was going to be to possibly work part time and phase out of my job a bit more slowly. I pondered how nice it would be to have the daytime to try to dive into the group fitness world. I started to pay closer attention as parents brought their small children by my office. It was really exciting to think about.

However, the end of the day brought another surprise. Our agency called to say that it was looking more and more like this little boy would be moving in with his grandparents instead of with another foster family. How quickly the gears change! If nothing else, I learned today how very much I have to guard my heart and take captive my thoughts during this process. I have really got to make sure that I don't get so swept up in my own ideas and dreams that I end up disillusioned or disappointed when things change. Fortunately, this was not a difficult gear to shift, but I mark it up as a lesson learned.

Could this be one of those obstacles that we prayed for God to use? Who knows! The doors are still not closed on this one, but we will wait and pray for His plan to unfold in His time.