His Living Word

Emmy had visitation again on Friday, and all reports were great again. Her grandparents even sent a note home this time! It said, with perfect spelling and grammar:

"Thank you for your letters. We really appreciate them. We really enjoy our time with Emmy. She truly is a joy to be with. Thank you so much for taking great care of her. If it is at all possible we would like to have the visit a little early on 10/28/11. We will notify Emmy's case worker of the time. May God bless you and your family."

Monday after the visit, I received a phone call from Emmy's case worker saying that her grandparents have, in fact, changed their minds about adoption. They signed the papers yesterday to move forward with adoption. Nothing is final yet, but the reality hit me like a ton of bricks that Emmy might leave us...soon. No matter how hard I try to keep things in perspective. No matter how diligent I am in conversation to reiterate that everything can change in an instant, guarding my heart is a difficult thing. While I knew this was a possibility, my heart secretly hoped it wasn't. Ultimately, my husband and I realize that this could be just the answer to prayer we were looking for. Sometimes, however, God's answers to our prayers are difficult to stomach.

I've always said that one benefit of foster parenting is that you face, daily, a reality that many parents don't realize they face daily as well - the reality that none of us is promised tomorrow with our children. Today and yesterday, we have enjoyed Emmy immensely - soaking up every laugh, every babble, every smile - knowing that we may not have as many ahead of us as we anticipated.

My husband and I have started reading a Psalm to Emmy each night before bed. I'll leave you with the Psalm we read Sunday night before we received this news on Monday.


Psalm 10

 Why, O LORD, do you stand far away?
   Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?
 In arrogance the wicked hotly pursue the poor;
   let them be caught in the schemes that they have devised.
For the wicked boasts of the desires of his soul,
   and the one greedy for gain curses and renounces the LORD.
In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him;
   all his thoughts are, "There is no God."
His ways prosper at all times;
   your judgments are on high, out of his sight;
   as for all his foes, he puffs at them.
He says in his heart, "I shall not be moved;
   throughout all generations I shall not meet adversity."
 His mouth is filled with cursing and deceit and oppression;
    under his tongue are mischief and iniquity.
He sits in ambush in the villages;
   in hiding places he murders the innocent.
His eyes stealthily watch for the helpless;
 he lurks in ambush like a lion in his thicket;
he lurks that he may seize the poor;
   he seizes the poor when he draws him into his net.
The helpless are crushed, sink down,
   and fall by his might.
He says in his heart, "God has forgotten,
   he has hidden his face, he will never see it."

  Arise, O LORD; O God, lift up your hand;
    forget not the afflicted.
Why does the wicked renounce God
   and say in his heart, "You will not call to account"?
But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation,
   that you may take it into your hands;
to you the helpless commits himself;
   you have been the helper of the fatherless.
 Break the arm of the wicked and evildoer;
    call his wickedness to account till you find none.


  The LORD is king forever and ever;
   the nations perish from his land.
O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted;
   you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear
to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed,
   so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.


And in addition to that, here is a passage on which our pastor preached on Sunday. I have been repeating to myself this powerful notion all day. "I can [insert your own, personal, struggle] care for children as my own only to watch them walk away, because I know that one day, the Lord is creating a new heaven and a new earth, where there will be no more tears, no more injustice, no more fear, and no more orphans."

Isaiah 65:17-25



"For behold, I create new heavens
   and a new earth,
and the former things shall not be remembered
   or come into mind.
But be glad and rejoice forever
   in that which I create;
for behold, I create Jerusalem to be a joy,
   and her people to be a gladness.
 I will rejoice in Jerusalem
   and be glad in my people;
no more shall be heard in it the sound of weeping
   and the cry of distress.
No more shall there be in it
   an infant who lives but a few days,
   or an old man who does not fill out his days,
for the young man shall die a hundred years old,
   and the sinner a hundred years old shall be accursed.
 They shall build houses and inhabit them;
   they shall plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
 They shall not build and another inhabit;
   they shall not plant and another eat;
for like the days of a tree shall the days of my people be,
   and my chosen shall long enjoy the work of their hands.
 They shall not labor in vain
    or bear children for calamity,
for they shall be the offspring of the blessed of the LORD,
   and their descendants with them.
 Before they call I will answer;
    while they are yet speaking I will hear.
 The wolf and the lamb shall graze together;
   the lion shall eat straw like the ox,
   and dust shall be the serpent’s food.
They shall not hurt or destroy
   in all my holy mountain,"
                 says the LORD.

What a mighty God we serve, and how thankful I am to be guided by His holy, living Word that meets me right where I am and pours out wisdom at every juncture. Pray for us in the coming days. Also, pray for our extended family who have fallen in love with Emmy as well. Pray for judges and lawyers. Pray for Emmy's grandparents. Pray for Emmy, as this could turn out to be a roller-coaster for her, since they are discussing the potential of offering overnight visits with her grandparents. Pray, more than anything else, that we would remain faithful to the gospel throughout this potentially difficult process, and that the Lord would be glorified through it all.