Visitation

Emmy visited with her grandparents last Friday (September 30), and I can't believe I haven't updated the blog since then!! Here's how the day went:

My mother-in-law was kind enough to stay at our house on Thursday night so that I could take my husband in for knee surgery in the morning while she stayed home with little Emmy. We intended to go to bed early in preparation for our full Friday, but true to form, we didn't turn in until 11 or 12 at night.

At 4am, Emmy decided she would randomly wake up and cry for no reason. This never happens anymore, so I could think of no good reason other than teething pain. I tried to help her fall asleep for about an hour to no avail. She would be fine in my arms but cry when I put her down. This is not at all Emmy's typical behavior, so I knew something was up. She was sad or scared or uncomfortable and wanted a buddy. For the first time ever, I grabbed the nearest stuffed animal, her pink hippopotamus, put him in the crib with her, walked out, and never heard a peep...who knew?

At that point, it was 5am. My alarm was set to go off at 5:15. (Gee thanks, Emmy ;o) My husband and I got ready and got to the hospital at 6am. Surgery went well, and by 11am or so we were on our way home! We came home and relaxed while I called Emmy's case worker and transporter to try to figure out exactly what the timing of this visit was and where Emmy would be going. Emmy's grandparents are allotted 4 hours of visitation, but if they wanted to leave early, they could. Unfortunately, that meant that there was no clear answer about when she'd be coming home.

I packed her for the long haul - 2 meals, lots of toys, pacifier, etc. The transporter arrived at 2pm to pick her up. I combed her hair and dressed her in one of her most precious little dresses. I handed her over to the transporter (the same transporter who drove her to visits with her mom during the first 4 months of her life), and she looked petrified. If you know Emmy, you know that she is a really happy-go-lucky kid without so much as a hint of separation anxiety. As I shared in my last post, I really think this girl internalizes everything. She analyzes situations and she knows when things are not quite right. She kept looking at the transporter, looking at me, looking at the transporter, sticking her lip out, on and on until finally she started to really cry...and my heart just broke. I was able to soothe her a little bit, but ultimately I had to put her in her car seat and send her on her way...tears and all. Thank the Lord that He had prepared my heart, and I was able to rest in the knowledge that He was holding that baby in my absence.

My husband and I had a few hours to spend some quality time together sleep before Emmy came home. The transporter assured me 5 or 6 times today that she would call me as she was leaving to give me a 45-minute warning of when she would bring Emmy home. Counting on this, I started working on dinner around 6pm. I had chicken on the stove, green beans steaming, and sauce boiling when all of a sudden, but not surprisingly, my doorbell rang. There I was, food I couldn't abandon, a husband laid out on the couch, a dog running around the house who would certainly bolt out of the front door the second I opened it. I turned off the stove, put Layla outside, and finally got to the door, where I could hear Emmy screaming from her car seat.

I got Emmy, moved the car seat, got all of her stuff, and finally got her inside around 6:30. She usually eats at 6, but they had been on the road. I got some food in her, gave her a bottle, tried to play, but she wasn't having it, so I went to put her down. When I put her down, she screamed like crazy. I think she was hopelessly confused about what was going on in her little life. She snuggled with dad for a long while watching his oh-so-appropriate selection - Veggie Tales "Where's God When I'm Scared." I finally finished dinner. Around 8:30 or 9, Emmy finally let me put her in her crib peacefully, and we ate dinner.

The reports I have received from the transporter as well as the case worker are that Emmy's grandparents adored their time with Emmy. Grandfather got on the floor with her the second she arrived and didn't get up until it was time for her to go home. They marveled at how smart she was. We had also written a letter. I'll post that soon. We're always a little anxious to hear how our letters are received, but the transporter said they adored the letter and could not stop talking about it. We were so encouraged! We are still being told that they definitely do not want to adopt, but things could change any day.

Please pray this coming Friday as Emmy goes for her second visit with them.

• Pray that her grandparents would continue to have clarity about whether or not they are the permanent family for Emmy. 
• Pray that the Lord would continue to guard our hearts here as we miss her while she's away and as we walk this tight-rope thinking about the potential to adopt Emmy. 
• Pray that logistics will go a bit more smoothly and that Emmy won't be quite so rattled this time.