Monday, March 26, 2012

2 Week Notice

Court was today, and I cannot thank you enough for your prayers. Yet again, we feel blown away by specific answers to many of our requests.

The boys will be with us until their mother is able to get beds for them, which will probably take close to 2 weeks. This is a huge answer to prayer, because we believe this way we'll have time to plan and prepare and hopefully make some sweet memories and take some intentional steps toward their reunion with their mother.

Another answer to prayer is that the boys did not have to be at court today. We've had no aftermath since the last visit, and we're hopeful that it will stay that way!

One last (potential) answer to prayer was a report we received from our case worker who was in the court room today. As of Saturday, we knew that their biological mom was celebrating and shouting from the rafters that her kids were "coming home Monday". We've really only ever heard of their mom being extremely angry, so it's actually been kind of refreshing to hear of her excitement. After court today, however, the report was quite different. We were told that she was really emotional...crying. One of our big prayers from the beginning has been for the Lord to humble her and soften her heart to the gospel.

"You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; 
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. 
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; 
a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise." 
Psalm 51:16-17

I don't know her heart, and I certainly don't know the work of the Lord in her life, but I have been encouraged tonight as I've considered the possibility that these somewhat unexpected 2 weeks may be just the thing He's using to begin to break her spirit, humble her heart, and convince her that she is not ultimately in control of the events in her life. Pray hard for this! And pray that whatever words we may write to her over the next couple of weeks will be used by the Holy Spirit to minister to her during these difficult days. Pray boldly that God would prepare her heart to receive Him and find redemption and freedom.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Court Monday

Here we go again! We've reached our 30 day mark, and we couldn't be in a much different place than we were last month. Days are mostly sweet. Life is fairly stable (aside from an excessive amount of sickness). I am back to enjoying these boys immensely, so my heart hurts a good bit as I think of them leaving my home and my life forever.

Please, please pray for all involved on Monday. Biological mom is 100% convinced that the boys are going home Monday, and she told all of them that prediction this afternoon at their visit. The DFACS case manager thinks quite the opposite. I have no idea what to expect. Just pray, similar to last time, that the Lord's will be done, and that we have time to give K-man and B-boy a smooth transition, if that's what it comes to. Pray that my husband and I are able to manage and work through our own emotions so as not to further distress the boys. Just pray that we would glorify God in everything that occurs over the next several days.

A sweet story to leave you with as I close...this evening we where in the car on our way to a family dinner honoring my sister-in-law's 30th birthday. K-man asked if there would be birthday cake and then began talking about my nephew's birthday party, which we attended on the second day the boys were living with us...4 long months ago! All of a sudden, K-man surprised me and started to say, very seriously, "Mrs. E, do you remember I didn't even know C then, and I didn't know Mrs. E or Mr. R or (and he named several others...)." Then, he paused briefly and said, "I didn't even know Jesus." I had to bite my cheek to hold back tears...reflecting on the sweet truth of that statement and the indescribable fruit we have seen these past 4 months...wow!

I don't know how Monday will end, but I sense the Lord providing sweet moments like these recently, perhaps to prepare my heart to rest in His sovereignty in these precious lives that have become so very dear to me. Please pray for us as either decision will be difficult in different ways. I will be anxious to post an update sometime Monday.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Lifesavers!!!

Our boys are sick...again. The walls are closing in. The frustrations and negative attitudes are looming. The disobedience and disrespect is grating on my nerves, but just in time tonight, I discovered and re-descovered several resources that are sure to save the day!

I re-discovered these amazing little books I bought back when I was an intern at a children's hospital. I had no idea, then, how amazing they are!!! A mom's dream! Tomorrow, I'm already planning to pull out a big piece of paper and make a "Who Loves Me?" poster. Can't wait!

The Toddler Busy Book

The Preschooler's Busy Book

My wonderful mother-in-law gave me this treasure just the other day, but I hadn't had a good chance to study it until tonight. It is truly an amazing resource...one that I wish I had had for the last 4 months! It takes attitudes/behaviors that your child might exhibit and offers heart-based questions to ask your child as well as scripture to help your child understand which attitudes to "put off" and which to "put on." I can't wait to see the fruit this could produce in K-man's heart over the next few weeks (at least until the next looming court date, March 26th).

Wise Words for Moms

Monday, March 12, 2012

Fruit

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” 
declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, 
so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." 
Isaiah 55:8-9


How many times will the Lord have to demonstrate this in my life before I trust these words when life doesn't go my way? Since my last, somewhat dejected, post after hearing the news that the boys would, indeed, be staying with us for another month, life made a quick turn for the better. I can't even explain it apart from the Lord's perfect wisdom and timing, but since that very day, K-man's behavior has remarkably improved, but more importantly, we've seen some major fruit being produced in his heart...fruit we would not have seen had the boys gone home when they did. I want to quickly share a few things we would have missed had the boys gone home last month, as anticipated.

K-man used to absolutely panic and fly off the handle when his anger was triggered. He has now begun to come to us and say, "I'm really mad." I cannot even begin to explain the impact that this has had in our household. For a solid 2 weeks now, we've had no hitting, biting, throwing things, etc. Even more importantly, I have every hope that this will translate into a strong life skill for this boy. I pray that this skill will help him to avoid altercations at home, ultimately protecting himself and solidifying his understanding that violence is not the best way to solve a problem.

B-boy is finally crawling! Busy? You bet! Somewhat of a nuisance at times? Absolutely! But the truth is, I thank God that we've been able to see this piece of his development...so much fun watching him develop into a bright, healthy, extremely happy baby boy!

The week after court, we achieved K-man's goal of reading through the entire Big Picture Bible. We were finally able to share the complete gospel story with him. We didn't make an overly big deal about the story of Jesus's death and resurrection - no bigger than any other night of family worship, but since reading it, we have marveled at how it has impacted K-man's heart. Several days after reading it, K-man noticed the cross on the top of a steeple. "Is that a railroad crossing?" he asked. "No," I said, "if you turned it on it's side it would be, but when it's straight up and down like that, it's called a cross...like the cross that Jesus died on." All day, he talked about God dying on the cross, and I had a million opportunities to share many facets of the gospel story. Then, all was silent in the car at one point (a rare occurrence with these boys) and K-man said very seriously, "Mrs. E...I'm sad." You should know that up to this point, I had never heard him talk about being sad...only mad. "Why are you sad?" I asked. "Because God died on the cross..." he said. Every night for about a week now, K-man has requested the story of Jesus's death and resurrection to be read at bed time. He studies each page intently, and talks about it often. What treasured conversations we have had!! What amazing repair I have seen in our relationship!

On one hand, it would have been easier to let these boys go when days were long and hard and I was ready to say, "Good Riddance!" but ultimately I think I would have struggled with guilt for a long time, and I fear that K-man would have struggled with thoughts that his behavior had caused him to be rejected. God is so good, regardless of what happens in my life, but I am thankful to have seen such fruit recently that testifies to this Truth.