As we were finishing the Bible study that meets in our home tonight, I got a phone call from our agency. I had spoken with them this morning about keeping someone's twin 2-year-olds over spring break, so I ignored it, thinking that I would call back once everyone had left. Then, my husband's phone rang (as usual). Then, my phone rang again, then my husband got a text message. Then I got a text message. We were getting the idea that this was about more than respite care for spring break.
The original information we received was that there was a 6-month-old African American girl in need of a foster family. We talked about it and decided we would do it! We were told we wouldn't pick her up until tomorrow afternoon and that this would probably be at least a 3-6 month placement.
A few minutes later, we got another phone call that this baby was actually only 6 WEEKS old. My husband and I skyped with his sister, and we spoke with both of our moms to get a handle on items we should gather before tomorrow afternoon, so now we are on the hunt for a frame stroller, an infant car seat, a play mat with hanging toys, a bouncy seat, an infant sling or carrier, sleep sacks/swaddlers, burp cloths, and pacifiers.
Here we go again!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Letter for Zizi's Parents
This was the letter we threw together at the last minute for Zizi's parents. The more I read it, the more I see things I might have changed, but we cling to these promises:
For I am not ashamed of the gospel,
because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes:
first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.
Romans 1:16
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and do not return to it without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower
and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
Isaiah 55:11
What a joy it has been to care for your daughter these past couple of weeks! We have had a blast watching her curiosity, seeing her learn new things, and hearing her fun laugh all day long. It has been evident to us that she has been loved and well cared for by her family. Then, over the past few days, it has really warmed our hearts to see Zizi light up when she's near you, and to see you all shower your love on her.
As we hand her back over to you, we want to be clear about why we do what we do. We don't do this because we are "good people." We certainly don't do this because we are wealthy or think we're better than anyone else. We do this for one reason and one reason only:
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8
We are daily overwhelmed by Christ's love for us and how little we deserve it. Our prayer is that, in some small way, we have been a reflection of Jesus Christ to your daughter and to each of you in this process. Know that He loves you more than you can even imagine. Know that there is nothing any of us can do to earn His love, and know that He is desperately seeking to have a relationship with you.
We will continue to pray for Zizi and for both of you - that God will be present in your lives. Scripture tells us that His love will always prove faithful. It will never fail (1 Corinthians 13:8). People are destined to fail us and disappoint us. Likewise, we are destined to disappoint ourselves, our friends and family, and God. Praise the Lord that His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23), and there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:39).
Much love and grace to you,
Mr. & Mrs. _________________
Zizi's Foster Parents
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Goodbye
It was another crazy day in our little world, culminating with Zizi riding off in a different car than ours...on her way to Chicago with her dad. I'm not going to go into any details of the case, but I'll shed a little light on the experience.
Satan tried so hard to ruin this day. Zizi woke up happy and had a great breakfast, good play time, and went down for a somewhat early nap. Meanwhile, I tried repeatedly to get in touch with the transporter who I thought was going to pick her up and take her to her visitation at noon. At 11:00, I finally got a call back informing me that through an unfortunate miscommunication, the transporter was not coming and I was now responsible for getting Zizi to her visitation. I frantically packed her things and headed out to the court house. I was in tears on the way as I thought of all of the things I wanted to do during those 2 hours to prepare for the court hearing.
I had planned to shower and dress nicely for court, print a photo and scripture passage to frame and send home with Zizi, write a letter to send home with Zizi's parents, and make one last pass through the house to gather all of Zizi's things. As I drove to the courthouse in my pigtails and sweatpants, with no letter in my hands, and with no grace in my heart, I just broke down. Somehow, I had romanticized how this process was going to go. I had in my head these golden opportunities that were going to present themselves when my husband and I were going to be calm and collected, and we would have just the right words to say to these parents to extend God's grace in the midst of a difficult situation. Instead, I had spent 2 days in the middle of a broken system that seemed nearly hopeless, completely surrounded by people who were extremely difficult to love and lawyers and social workers who were jaded and depressed. It was probably one of the most depressing environments I had ever been in. I looked around at one point and thought...what a tremendous difference it would make if the church of America brought the light of Christ into this dismally dark place. What a difference it would make to have even 1 or 2 more faces among this crowd that were marked by grace and peace.
But...I digress...I made the long drive to the courthouse, praying, but struggling to get my heart in the right place. I was at the point where I just wanted to drop her off, go home, and never step foot in that courtroom again. As I got off the interstate and drove up to the courthouse, the song I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin came on the radio. I had such a powerful moment of worship as I belted out these lyrics and believed them deep in my heart. I bolded the words that really spoke to me this morning:
As I walked into the courthouse, I walked with confidence. He is worth this. It is worth going into dark places whether or not I see any evidence that I am making a difference. If nothing else, being in that place gave me an even richer understanding of the depth of love God has for humankind, a longing and expectancy for heaven, and the urgency we should feel to speak redemption into the hundreds of broken lives represented in that place. I'm not even sure I'm capturing this well in words, but it was a really spiritual experience for me.
I took Zizi inside, but then I drove all the way back home to get ready and scarf down lunch. My husband and I rode back together, and on the way, we wrote a letter to Zizi's parents. When I have a chance, I'll transcribe it here so that you can see what we tried to communicate. We really struggled with the words to say, but we felt good about the final outcome.
Shortly after we arrived, Zizi ended up asleep in my arms and slept on my chest for almost an hour throughout all of the court proceedings. That was a really sweet time for me. Once court was over, we were ushered into a private room with a couple of case workers and with Zizi's parents to train them on how to change the dressings on Zizi's burn. What a sweet gift from the Lord! We were able to encourage them, teach them, shake their hands, hand them our letter in person, and pass Zizi off to her father. Then, we all went outside. My husband and I went to gather Zizi's loot from our car - homemade gifts from my mom and my mother-in-law, a teddy bear and blanket my mom bought for Zizi before we even knew who she was, and clothes we had picked out for her in the beginning. We brought it all to the family, and started to walk off when Zizi's uncle came and asked, "Do you guys want to say goodbye?" Of course we did, so we gave her hugs and kisses, made her giggle a couple more times, and then handed her back.
The Lord was so faithful to us today, and we both left with a positive feeling about His provision in her life. More than anything, we felt a sense of satisfaction that we had been obedient to what the Lord had asked of us and that He was in control of whatever may come in the future.
So where will we go from here? I have a few loose ends to tie up at work, and we have company in town this week. We're planning to wait until maybe the end of next week or beginning of the next to accept another placement. Then, we'll see where the adventure takes us next.
Satan tried so hard to ruin this day. Zizi woke up happy and had a great breakfast, good play time, and went down for a somewhat early nap. Meanwhile, I tried repeatedly to get in touch with the transporter who I thought was going to pick her up and take her to her visitation at noon. At 11:00, I finally got a call back informing me that through an unfortunate miscommunication, the transporter was not coming and I was now responsible for getting Zizi to her visitation. I frantically packed her things and headed out to the court house. I was in tears on the way as I thought of all of the things I wanted to do during those 2 hours to prepare for the court hearing.
I had planned to shower and dress nicely for court, print a photo and scripture passage to frame and send home with Zizi, write a letter to send home with Zizi's parents, and make one last pass through the house to gather all of Zizi's things. As I drove to the courthouse in my pigtails and sweatpants, with no letter in my hands, and with no grace in my heart, I just broke down. Somehow, I had romanticized how this process was going to go. I had in my head these golden opportunities that were going to present themselves when my husband and I were going to be calm and collected, and we would have just the right words to say to these parents to extend God's grace in the midst of a difficult situation. Instead, I had spent 2 days in the middle of a broken system that seemed nearly hopeless, completely surrounded by people who were extremely difficult to love and lawyers and social workers who were jaded and depressed. It was probably one of the most depressing environments I had ever been in. I looked around at one point and thought...what a tremendous difference it would make if the church of America brought the light of Christ into this dismally dark place. What a difference it would make to have even 1 or 2 more faces among this crowd that were marked by grace and peace.
But...I digress...I made the long drive to the courthouse, praying, but struggling to get my heart in the right place. I was at the point where I just wanted to drop her off, go home, and never step foot in that courtroom again. As I got off the interstate and drove up to the courthouse, the song I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin came on the radio. I had such a powerful moment of worship as I belted out these lyrics and believed them deep in my heart. I bolded the words that really spoke to me this morning:
There's a peace I've come to know
ThThere's a peace I've come to know
And I will rise when He calls my name.
There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
And I will rise when He calls my name
ThThere's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
And I will rise when He calls my name.
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
I took Zizi inside, but then I drove all the way back home to get ready and scarf down lunch. My husband and I rode back together, and on the way, we wrote a letter to Zizi's parents. When I have a chance, I'll transcribe it here so that you can see what we tried to communicate. We really struggled with the words to say, but we felt good about the final outcome.
Shortly after we arrived, Zizi ended up asleep in my arms and slept on my chest for almost an hour throughout all of the court proceedings. That was a really sweet time for me. Once court was over, we were ushered into a private room with a couple of case workers and with Zizi's parents to train them on how to change the dressings on Zizi's burn. What a sweet gift from the Lord! We were able to encourage them, teach them, shake their hands, hand them our letter in person, and pass Zizi off to her father. Then, we all went outside. My husband and I went to gather Zizi's loot from our car - homemade gifts from my mom and my mother-in-law, a teddy bear and blanket my mom bought for Zizi before we even knew who she was, and clothes we had picked out for her in the beginning. We brought it all to the family, and started to walk off when Zizi's uncle came and asked, "Do you guys want to say goodbye?" Of course we did, so we gave her hugs and kisses, made her giggle a couple more times, and then handed her back.
The Lord was so faithful to us today, and we both left with a positive feeling about His provision in her life. More than anything, we felt a sense of satisfaction that we had been obedient to what the Lord had asked of us and that He was in control of whatever may come in the future.
So where will we go from here? I have a few loose ends to tie up at work, and we have company in town this week. We're planning to wait until maybe the end of next week or beginning of the next to accept another placement. Then, we'll see where the adventure takes us next.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Court
Well, yesterday and today have been interesting days. I'm going to try to capture them for you without getting too long-winded.
Yesterday, we took Zizi to the hospital to get a "second opinion" on her burn. While there, I met Zizi's mom, dad, grandmother, grandfather, brother, uncle, and several other family members. The good news is that Zizi obviously loves her family. She lit up when she saw them and instantly reached out to her mother. Her mom played patty cake with her in the doctor's office. It was so good for me to see their strong bond, but it proceeded to be one of the most awkward situations I have ever been a part of.
I was there with the owner of our foster care agency, and thank goodness she was there to speak up and take care of logistics. My brain was going in so many different directions, I wouldn't have known what to do. I won't bore you with details, but here's a little glimpse of what was going on in my head:
"I think she needs a new diaper. Should I offer to change it or just let the mom take care of that? She's starting to get fussy...maybe she's hungry. I have some dinner, but I don't know what mom would think if I pulled it out. The mom doesn't know anything about the burn recently, so I'm answering all of the doctor's questions. I don't want her to think that I think I'm better than her. I hope she can sense that I care about her and her family. ...I hope dad didn't notice a look on my face when he came over with that thug hat with rhinestones all over it."
Meanwhile, the actual visit was almost silent. You can just imagine the tension.
OK...now fast forward to this morning. We all met again at the courthouse. Zizi's dad practically met me at the door to take her out of my arms. Then, I was content to stick with the agency social workers for the rest of the day. Then, around 10:00am, the social workers both had to go into other cases, and Zizi's DFACS worker told me that I needed to go keep an eye on Zizi and make sure that her family didn't take her anywhere but the waiting room.
Wow...could I think of anything I'd like to do LESS?? Talk about feeling holier than thou and judgmental! Yikes...but I had to do what I was told, so I did my best. We had a few positive interactions. I took the family a picture we had taken of their sweet girl, and Zizi's uncle brought her to play with me for a second at one point. All-in-all, though, it was an hour and 45 minutes of awkwardness. Oh, and I forgot to mention that we weren't allowed to bring in cell phones, so I literally had NOTHING to do but sit and watch.
She finally went in at 11:45, but she was a little fussy (imagine that!), so I had to step out with her. After about 10 minutes, everything was done, and we were told to report back tomorrow at 2pm. My agency social worker informed me that Zizi would probably go home with her dad tomorrow after court, so I'll need to pack her things. My husband and I have the option of being there or not. We're still praying through the pros and cons of being in attendance.
And that was it! I drove home, and Zizi got a little cat-nap in the backseat. She's still completely exhausted, but now she is literally screaming upstairs not to fall asleep. What a mess of a day! I have so many thoughts to muddle through. Once I have a chance to do so, I'll try to blog a little more introspectively about this whole ordeal. Thank goodness it is over for today. Be in prayer about tomorrow.
Yesterday, we took Zizi to the hospital to get a "second opinion" on her burn. While there, I met Zizi's mom, dad, grandmother, grandfather, brother, uncle, and several other family members. The good news is that Zizi obviously loves her family. She lit up when she saw them and instantly reached out to her mother. Her mom played patty cake with her in the doctor's office. It was so good for me to see their strong bond, but it proceeded to be one of the most awkward situations I have ever been a part of.
I was there with the owner of our foster care agency, and thank goodness she was there to speak up and take care of logistics. My brain was going in so many different directions, I wouldn't have known what to do. I won't bore you with details, but here's a little glimpse of what was going on in my head:
"I think she needs a new diaper. Should I offer to change it or just let the mom take care of that? She's starting to get fussy...maybe she's hungry. I have some dinner, but I don't know what mom would think if I pulled it out. The mom doesn't know anything about the burn recently, so I'm answering all of the doctor's questions. I don't want her to think that I think I'm better than her. I hope she can sense that I care about her and her family. ...I hope dad didn't notice a look on my face when he came over with that thug hat with rhinestones all over it."
Meanwhile, the actual visit was almost silent. You can just imagine the tension.
OK...now fast forward to this morning. We all met again at the courthouse. Zizi's dad practically met me at the door to take her out of my arms. Then, I was content to stick with the agency social workers for the rest of the day. Then, around 10:00am, the social workers both had to go into other cases, and Zizi's DFACS worker told me that I needed to go keep an eye on Zizi and make sure that her family didn't take her anywhere but the waiting room.
Wow...could I think of anything I'd like to do LESS?? Talk about feeling holier than thou and judgmental! Yikes...but I had to do what I was told, so I did my best. We had a few positive interactions. I took the family a picture we had taken of their sweet girl, and Zizi's uncle brought her to play with me for a second at one point. All-in-all, though, it was an hour and 45 minutes of awkwardness. Oh, and I forgot to mention that we weren't allowed to bring in cell phones, so I literally had NOTHING to do but sit and watch.
She finally went in at 11:45, but she was a little fussy (imagine that!), so I had to step out with her. After about 10 minutes, everything was done, and we were told to report back tomorrow at 2pm. My agency social worker informed me that Zizi would probably go home with her dad tomorrow after court, so I'll need to pack her things. My husband and I have the option of being there or not. We're still praying through the pros and cons of being in attendance.
And that was it! I drove home, and Zizi got a little cat-nap in the backseat. She's still completely exhausted, but now she is literally screaming upstairs not to fall asleep. What a mess of a day! I have so many thoughts to muddle through. Once I have a chance to do so, I'll try to blog a little more introspectively about this whole ordeal. Thank goodness it is over for today. Be in prayer about tomorrow.
Friday, March 18, 2011
I love my husband!!
I debated titling this post "Kids Are Gross," because those are the 2 thoughts that have been going through my mind all day. I decided I better settle on the more pleasant of the two.
Last night and all day today, I have been battling a nasty stomach virus, and I'm pretty sure that Zizi is the one I have to thank for that. I won't go into the reasons that I think her to be the culprit. I think we can just all agree that kids are, indeed, gross - just a bunch of walking infections waiting to happen. It's a good thing I love this girl so much!!
Now onto the real subject matter of this post - my husband. I hate to say it, ladies, but I think I somehow managed to snag the best one out there! Really and truly...all night last night and all day today, he has managed to take care of me, take care of cranky Zizi (who had waffle house for lunch and no naps...you just never know what you're going to get when the transporter brings her home), take care of the dog, sanitize the house, and still manage to make us all laugh in the process. Often it is so easy to take our family for granted, but tonight...let me just shout it from the rooftops that I am more madly in love with my husband than I have ever been before.
Baby, even though you're sleeping in the other room because I have contaminated this one, I adore you and thank God for bringing you into my life. Sweet dreams.
Last night and all day today, I have been battling a nasty stomach virus, and I'm pretty sure that Zizi is the one I have to thank for that. I won't go into the reasons that I think her to be the culprit. I think we can just all agree that kids are, indeed, gross - just a bunch of walking infections waiting to happen. It's a good thing I love this girl so much!!
Now onto the real subject matter of this post - my husband. I hate to say it, ladies, but I think I somehow managed to snag the best one out there! Really and truly...all night last night and all day today, he has managed to take care of me, take care of cranky Zizi (who had waffle house for lunch and no naps...you just never know what you're going to get when the transporter brings her home), take care of the dog, sanitize the house, and still manage to make us all laugh in the process. Often it is so easy to take our family for granted, but tonight...let me just shout it from the rooftops that I am more madly in love with my husband than I have ever been before.
Baby, even though you're sleeping in the other room because I have contaminated this one, I adore you and thank God for bringing you into my life. Sweet dreams.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
100.1
That's my temperature tonight. I've been flirting with a fever all day. It has given me a new respect for you stay-at-home moms. Thank goodness I had a few hours of reprieve when Zizi went to visit her mom, but during the rest of the time, I certainly was not my best self over here. I listened to Zizi cry a bit more than I wanted to today, because I just didn't have the energy to play with her the way she wanted.
However, late this evening, as I was counting down the minutes until bed time, the Lord proved faithful to his promise in 2 Corinthians 9:8 - "And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."
I was feeling pretty whimpy (and guilty on top of it all for not being able to be the best mom possible to Zizi today). Then, all of a sudden, Peanut started barking at some dogs that walked by our house. "Oh great," I thought. "As if the night could get any worse." Then, scared Zizi ran to me with terror in her eyes, crawled up in my lap, and snuggled with me for a solid 5 or 10 minutes. That was just what this mom needed to change her attitude, muster up some energy, and pour into this little girl for 45 more minutes before bedtime.
Now, Zizi is sleeping soundly, and mom is about to do the same. Please pray that I wake up feeling much better tomorrow. There is no parent visit tomorrow, so it's all me...all day...YIKES! It's been done by many of you, so I know I can do it, but certainly not in my own strength. Thanks for your prayers.
FYI - Zizi's mom had nothing negative to say about the disappearing braids...whew! She didn't even redo it! I might consider that my greatest accomplishment in a long time...haha.
However, late this evening, as I was counting down the minutes until bed time, the Lord proved faithful to his promise in 2 Corinthians 9:8 - "And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."
I was feeling pretty whimpy (and guilty on top of it all for not being able to be the best mom possible to Zizi today). Then, all of a sudden, Peanut started barking at some dogs that walked by our house. "Oh great," I thought. "As if the night could get any worse." Then, scared Zizi ran to me with terror in her eyes, crawled up in my lap, and snuggled with me for a solid 5 or 10 minutes. That was just what this mom needed to change her attitude, muster up some energy, and pour into this little girl for 45 more minutes before bedtime.
Now, Zizi is sleeping soundly, and mom is about to do the same. Please pray that I wake up feeling much better tomorrow. There is no parent visit tomorrow, so it's all me...all day...YIKES! It's been done by many of you, so I know I can do it, but certainly not in my own strength. Thanks for your prayers.
FYI - Zizi's mom had nothing negative to say about the disappearing braids...whew! She didn't even redo it! I might consider that my greatest accomplishment in a long time...haha.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Braids...
They came out tonight. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but thank goodness my friend, Stephanie, was here to lend a hand and some words of experience. I hope Zizi's mom doesn't hate me for taking them out. I think I'll write her another note to explain the fact that they were dotted with apple sauce and cottage cheese.
This was something I had been prepared for many times by many people, but I totally underestimated the challenge of caring for her hair. Tomorrow I am investing in a shower cap for meal time. We'll see how that goes. Maybe if I'm lucky, I won't have to wash it again until after her court date on Tuesday.
This was something I had been prepared for many times by many people, but I totally underestimated the challenge of caring for her hair. Tomorrow I am investing in a shower cap for meal time. We'll see how that goes. Maybe if I'm lucky, I won't have to wash it again until after her court date on Tuesday.
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