Brothers

Brief update! First, let me say a huge thank you to all who have been praying over K-man's separation anxiety! The battle is not totally behind us, but we have several HUGE victories under our belts now. For those who might be interested in helpful hints, here's what has really worked for us:

• Role play: We role play going to church with his toys, cars, stuffed animals, nativity set, etc. all of the time now. It was fascinating to watch his reaction come out even when pretending. In the beginning, he always asks if his stuffed animal can go to my class instead of his...haha. The more we've played, the more he's gotten used to the idea.
• Talking it up - constantly: We talk about going to class and how fun it's going to be ALL THE TIME...for at least 2 days beforehand. Knowing what's coming has really helped a lot.
• Rewards: OK, so I don't love bribing, but in this emegency situation, having a reward system has really helped K-man cope with his mixed emotions and make good choices. We lean on quality time rewards. One of our most effective was going to the library after class, checking out a movie, and going home to snuggle on the couch with popcorn while we watched as a family.
• Security objects: Each time I leave him, I leave him with something "valuable" to me. Sometimes, I wear a cheap bracelet and I take it off and give it to him. If I'm not taking my car, I'll give him my keys to put in his pocket. It's been such a good tool for me to teach him that when I say I'm coming back, I'm really coming back. He LOVES this, holds onto it for dear life, and it's the first thing he looks for when he sees me at the door.
• Prayer, prayer, prayer: I pray about this. My husband prays about this. Our friends and family pray about this, and we pray with K-man all the time about this...asking God to give K-man a "nice heart" because we know that God is the only one who can make our heart nice...thanking God for being with us wherever we go. I can't even begin to tell you the fruit we've seen from praying with K-man...what an overwhelming blessing.

Enough of that...just please continue to pray with us about this issue. Yes, it's somewhat normal 3-year-old behavior, but in his case, we can see that it is a reflection of a deeper heart issue - he is not sure who loves him and who doesn't. He's not convinced that we are going to do what we say we're going to do, and he's not confident in the Lord's presence with him and love for him.

In other news, I had the privilege of meeting B-boy and K-man's 2 older brothers the other day (D and N). They all had to have developmental evaluations (normal protocol), and DFACS doesn't provide transportation for that. I was a bit nervous as we walked into the room. I was interested to see how the other boys treated me, and I was interested to see how K-man treated me in light of the fact that his brothers were there. When we entered the waiting room, I instantly heard a 9-year-old voice yell with glee, "[K-MAN]" and then I saw his 6-year-old brother come bounding over to him. The 9-year-old immedaitely came to see B-boy...everyone was hugging each other, kissing each other, laughing, and being extremely loud...haha! I went into the waiting room playroom with B-boy and sat on the floor with the boys. Watching from a distance, I made several observations.

First, I immediately saw K-man working through some confusing emotions seeing me in the same place as his 2 brothers. It was like worlds colliding, I know, and for a little while, he didn't really know what to do with it all.

Second, all of a sudden, I realized why K-man has difficulty playing by himself. He never has to!! He has grown up in a family of 4 loud, playful boys. No wonder it's foreign to him when he doesn't have someone to interact with.

Third, I couldn't help but laugh as I saw reflections of K-man in each of his brothers. The things they would say, the way they acted...just tickled me to death as I watched and listened!

Fourth, I was so struck by the kind spirit of each of these boys. I had a great conversation with the 9-year-old. They were all helpful, kind, generous...just sweet boys. It's so nice to have faces in my mind as I pray for them now. Please join me in praying for them - that they are in a good home, and that they are being loved and cared for, but most importantly, that they are being introduced to the saving grace of Jesus. If not now, that they will be one day. Who knows...maybe K-man will introduce them when they all go home :)

After about 15 or 20 minutes of playing with his brothers and not really knowing how to interact with me, K-man surprised me by plopping down in my lap with a story. He was affectionate and loving, and we and all of his brothers sat and read stories. It was a sweet time that I have been so thankful for since that day.

I don't know what the Lord is up to in this particular case, but he continues to reveal to us that He is doing mighty, mighty work...even in the midst of those days that seem to drag on forever with seemingly no fruit. Pray that we would be steadfast and motivated by nothing else other than to glorify God in all that we do.