Sacrifices

OK...so this is less of a "foster mom" post and more of just a "mom" post. Today I have learned many lessons, but mostly a lesson in making sacrifices. This past weekend, I had several of my girlfriends in town, and we wanted to get out and about, so we did, and we brought Miss M along with us so that my husband could get some things done in the yard. I thought she would nap as beautifully as she did last week in the Bjorn and in her car seat, but she didn't. She missed or shortened several naps. Miss M also had a parent visit yesterday, which interfered with two naps. Then, this evening, I had planned a meeting at church from 6pm-7pm. I have left my job, but I'm still having a hard time stepping away from one piece of it.

She had a great nap this morning, but did not nap well at all this afternoon. She was clearly overtired already from the disruptions up to this point. Nonetheless, I had made a commitment to be at this meeting, so I went. Since then, I have listened to her cry for about 45 minutes before she finally fell asleep. The inner turmoil has been awful! Being the decision maker in the life of this precious child is tough work!

Should I go in there and help her fall asleep?
She spit out her paci...should I go put it back in? I know it will help her sleep.
I know babies cry! I'm not concerned about that, but is my decision right now going to affect the way she sleeps tomorrow...the next day...a month from now...when she's 25??
If I just pick her up for 2 minutes, I know she'll fall asleep. Would it be better for her to get that sleep, or is it better for her to remember how to fall asleep on her own?

Wow! What a weight I feel! I still don't have a good answer to any of these questions, and I feel pretty terrible about listening to that pitiful cry, but alas...she's asleep...she's going to be just fine...and so am I :)

I think the lesson I have taken away is that I'm going to have to toughen up and learn to make sacrifices. There is such a fine line, I think, between making sacrifices for the well being of this child and making this child the center of my universe. I sure wish someone could show me that line and how to walk it, but for now, I'll give up most anything for the next several days so that I can let that sweet baby sleep!