Before we talk about our impressions during that first encounter, let me give a little background. Emmy had a weekend visit last weekend with her grandparents. She has a transporter who picks her up and takes her to her grandparent's house. As I have shared in previous posts, every time the transporter has picked Emmy up, Emmy has melted down. If you know Emmy, you know how out of character this is! We've always chalked it up to Emmy's overall struggle with the newness of this situation, but there may have actually been a bit more to it.
Last weekend was the worst ever, as Emmy clung to me for dear life each time I attempted to put her in the transporter's car seat. I finally took Emmy inside and was able to calm her down before putting her in the car seat, sending her on her way, (and crying like a baby once she was out of sight!) Shortly after Emmy returned home that Sunday, her grandparents called her CASA to report the same strange behavior on their end when giving Emmy to the transporter. On top of all of this, we had also discovered upon her return that Emmy's car seat had not been buckled! The plastic part was fastened, but the most important metal piece was wide open.
I write these things here for two reasons. First, I write this in order to encourage other foster moms who might be reading this to stay alert and examine closely the behavior and circumstances surrounding your transporters!! Especially our babies and children who can't yet speak up, we need to make sure that we watch carefully and take seriously their strange behavior. We never know what might be behind those responses. Second, I think it gives a wonderful insight into our first impression of Emmy's grandparents. Before we ever spoke to them in person, we heard that they had reported their concern about the transporter and their desire not to use her anymore. They even offered to pick Emmy up from our house, which is a solid hour from their house. What an amazing encouragement!!! They have had very little time with Emmy, but they have been getting to know her deeply, and they are in-tune with her enough to take note that this is not a typical Emmy response to strangers. Not only that, but they were bold and sacrificial in protecting Emmy, offering to go far out of their way to ensure her safety and security. I can't tell you how encouraging this was.
Needless to say, we didn't want them to have to drive a full hour to pick Emmy up, but we also didn't want to ever put her in a car with that transporter again. At the suggestion of our foster agency, we called the grandparents and had a truly amazing conversation. They spent several minutes on the phone individually thanking each of us for our care, concern, and investment in Emmy's life thus far. We were overwhelmed and tried over and over to give credit where credit is due - to a mighty heavenly father who compels us and equips us to do His work on this earth. In the end, arrangements were made for another weekend visit. We would meet on Thursday afternoon to transfer Emmy to them and pick her up again Sunday.
So...how did it go?? Was it awkward? Did we get any uncomfortable vibes? Were we sad to see them all together? No, no, no! Quite the opposite! They gave us a warm welcome...Emmy smiled from ear to ear! They spoke as if they were beginning to really know Emmy, and know her deeply! They were kind, joyful, young, vibrant, loving, gentle, and they were very excited to take Emmy to church with them for the first time on Sunday! We had peace like I cannot explain in words as we drove away, and the Lord has somehow brought me to a point today where I am rejoicing over the fact that Emmy might be in their family permanently!
Now, I can't help but look back in time and remember where our hearts were a couple of weeks ago. The faithfulness of God, and His care for us has been overwhelming. I am cautious as I walk through this situation and reflect on God's faithfulness, because I realize that the Lord is good and faithful regardless of how this situation may have turned out. I have seen foster parent friends walk through situations that were terribly unclear and seemingly impossible to endure. We were in a much more difficult place when Miss M left, and we are certain to be in more difficult places in the future. I am thankful, however, that in the beginning of our journey here, the Lord is painting us a clear picture of His provision and His sovereignty that we will be able to cling to in times that seem much less certain and less kind.
Thank you for your prayers thus far. It goes without saying that we have felt them and that we have seen the Lord respond to them over the past few weeks. Here's how you can pray going forward:
- The Family Team Meeting should be scheduled any day, and there is still much clarification that needs to happen there regarding Emmy's permanent home. Pray that decisions would be made based on clear understanding of the situation at hand. At this point, the emotion of it all is going to be difficult to wade through. Pray that if hard decisions need to be made, that they will be made, and that my husband and I will exude grace in that time.
- Continue to pray that we will have warning before Emmy permanently leaves us. We would like to have a day or two in order to collect her memories to send with her. We're working on it now, but we don't want to wrap things up prematurely.
- Pray that the Family Team Meeting is scheduled at a time when my husband can attend. It will be during the workday, so pray that it won't interfere with any significant work obligations.
- Continue to pray for us and for our extended families as we all grieve.
- Emmy has a lot of dear friends, many of whom are young children. Pray for their hearts as they are saying goodbye to Emmy and trying to make sense of all of this. Pray that even this would lead them to a deeper understanding of the gospel. Pray that they would ask questions of us and of their parents that would provide opportunity to point to Christ.
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